Q: Do you believe in a higher power? (Love, God, Universe, Grace, Spirit, whatever) Why? Why not?
A: Sometimes. I want to believe – for me it’s more of a force and the awe of the mystery and where does this energy in us go after we die? My mother died when I was pretty young and I miss her everyday, I can’t quite comprehend that she just ended so I want to believe more. I spent a lot of time when I was a kid and teen in the national parks in Utah. Zion, Canyonlands, Arches, and the Salt Flats -- when you’re out in the middle of nowhere and the stars are that bright and you’re so small. It’s hard not to believe in something – the universe is so awesome and overwhelming, I can’t believe that this here on earth is all there is in heaven and earth… Even in the deepest parts of science, it all starts to get very mysterious and “godlike” so I like to believe that means something.
Q: Why must you make films? (I mean, let's be honest, only a crazy person would choose to do it)
A: I don’t know what else I would do. I have very few other marketable skills beyond storytelling. Movies and television changed my whole life and trajectory, my first job was taking tickets at Sundance when I was a teenager, before that I didn’t know what I wanted to do and after it’s all I ever dreamed about doing.
Q: If you were at a dinner party and had to pick one of these topics for the group to discuss (sex, politics, money, religion, death, food, reincarnation) -- what would it be and why?
A: There are no taboo subjects to me, I love a great conversation – which is why I love adults. I mean, I like kids, but they aren’t on whole great conversationalists and I live for long deep conversation. I seek them out. Of those, right now I think I’d go with sex – as it would generally lead to all of the others on some level – that way, I’d get to talk about all of them.
Q: Make up a question for me to ask the next director I photograph. You can ask ANYTHING — just please be respectful.
A: What’s the one type of film you’re dying to get hired to direct and why?
Q from Lisanne Sartor: How do you handle those moments of despair when you doubt yourself and your choices and wonder how the hell you ended up doing what you’re doing with your life?
A: Wow, that's so apropos for me just now. I'm not sure I do handle those moments of despair well but I think all you can do is go through them and try to remember there's always more clarity on the other side. When you’re in the middle of that self doubt and pain, you can’t imagine you’ll ever be on the other side but you will and you have to remember that. And then just get back to work. Start a new project. You know how mothers talk about childbirth like it hurt and it was awful but they don’t think about that once the baby is there. I don’t have kids but I think it’s a good metaphor — you have to get through the pain to get the baby at the end sometimes.
I remember a teacher of mine told me to practice noting and remembering the good times in your life so you can call on them when you’re in the bad times. So, I try to make note of good days and moments that really matter to me every day to store up for when I’m in the shit. There’s the big days like the day I got married and then smaller moments too — the way the light is hitting a friend’s eyes or when someone is telling me a great story, I make a mental note to remember these moments — to call on too. And one might spark an idea that leads to a new project — just get back to work. Above my computer I have the lyrics from a Lou Reed song about Andy Warhol —
No matter what I did it never seemed enough
He said I was lazy, I said I was young
He said, "How many songs did you write"
I'd written zero, I'd lied and said, "Ten"
You won't be young forever
You should have written fifteen
It's work
Just work, that’s what I do.
Q: The last time you had deja vu? What does deja vu mean to you?
A: It comes in waves for me. My mom used to tell me it was the universe telling you – you’re on the right path. When I have them, I generally try to take note and when they happen I always feel like it’s a good sign. It’s interesting because I just had a pretty gnarly one a week or so ago and it was quite disorienting almost – it’s interesting because it’s been a rough couple of months -- it’s hard to believe this is the path I’m meant to be on but perhaps it is -- and on the other side, I’ll look backwith more clarity.
Q: What made you laugh last? When was the last time you cried? Why?
A: Last laugh… I generally laugh a little bit everyday, I can’t remember the last laugh where I fell over in a fit but I gotta work on that! I need more of those in my everyday. Crying that’s a whole other thing – I cry out of joy and sadness equally – you know I’m a filmmaker right? Ha! Sometimes they go hand in hand.
Q: Lastly, tell the people about your next project and where they can see your work.
A: I’m finishing my feature film ALASKA IS A DRAG – it’s shot and it’s incredible and working on making that whole. I work on UnREAL which is it’s second season and it’s so amazingand then I have a couple of scripts and other projects that are in the mix but I don’t want to jinx them til they’re a little further down the line.
Thanks for including me in the Directors Collective – love you lady!